ohmigracious - just *look* how handsome our Papa Red is!!! Nice! :o)

Well, economy (and money in general) is all based on value. We tend to forget that's all money is: a placeholder for value/want/desire. How valued we are in a relationship, and how much value we place on different sorts of interactions, is a very large part of all human relations and especially romantic ones.

the economic coin of my relationships is emotion too. But that shows it's self in practical ways for me. For instance I was talking to someone today about what it was that I meant when I said last year that I needed someone who was available. Of course emotionally available was first. But I also needed someone who was available time wise. That is a practical issue. It concerns how far away they live, if they have other responsibilities like children or traveling for work. The reason they are important is emotional. But the issue it's self is very separate from how I feel about them. if that makes sense.

<<<Have you been in a relationship where you loved them passionately...but the relationship simply did not or could not meet your needs for whatever reason?how difficult was it to see that it not meeting your needs was not necessarily connected to their feelings for you or your feelings for them? or Maybe you have been in a relationship where the relationship was working for you(giving you stability and sex whatever it is you felt good about having) but you were not passionately in love with them?>>>

Yes. To all of it, tho' more often the first, where there was lots of passion, even a truly deep emotional connection... but the relationship wasn't workable for other reasons. I can think of 2 relationships in particular, which had very deep emotions, creativity, & attraction at their core, but that didn't work long-term day-to-day. Both happened in my 30's, & on & off, totaled about 2 years each. Both had a lot to do w/ intense events in our lives, being muses for each other, & working thru issues. I'd had, & have had other relationships w/ that pattern, but never as intensely, or as long.

As I've gotten older, I realize that a fabulous lover does not always make a good LTR, or live-in partner.. And yet... I've never been able to really compromise on that point, as some people I know have done. (Usually when children were involved).
I'm long past seeking lots of drama... but hot chemistry along w/ a soulful, & intellectual spark, is really important. Otherwise, I think of a relationship as a friendship... but not a romance. This can get messy, because I do get attached to men I have great sex w/ regularly, & they to me. Sometimes there's love. And more often than not... it isn't really right for the long haul.

Good communication skills, ability to give & receive honesty & respect... healing work done or being done to offset any serious damage suffered... freedom from substance abuse... I've found these things to also be essential for a more lasting relationship. Some common goals & interest help.
And sometimes, even certain tastes & habits in lifestyle can clash enough to make a serious relationship very difficult. I'm a hard-core night owl. Life has proved difficult w/ hard-core larks. We have to be able to just plain get along!

I've also had a few tough experiences w/ lovers who just couldn't pull their own weight financially. I've never been that naive, so no big-time financial damage. But lots of frustration, especially when we were long distance, & trying to work it out... This is why I do care about money somewhat now, if a connection is to be more than a fling. I don't care if a man is wealthy at all... just able to meet his own basic needs consistently, & have a touch left to enjoy himself w/.

It has gotten easier to take things less personally in general... & that includes my love life. My last LTR fit into the "hot as hell but unworkable in the long run" category. I knew from the beginning he was not really what I wanted... but he was so damn sexy, lol!!! Things got kinda complicated for awhile... When we ended, we talked things through honestly. The wound was cleaner, & I healed relatively quickly, because I knew it was more about him, & how we didn't really fit as partners, than it was about some insult to me, or to him.
I realize I've always been more attracted to men as muses & catalysts, & friends, than as stable, steady partners. This sometimes isn't easy, but it's who I've been, & I can claim it now.

YES! I think people do that! They have this idea about what it means to love someone so if they do love someone or admit that they love them then they think that they must stay with them. or be with them in the first place, or take care of them or sleep with them or whatever.

It just doesn't work that way. Or rather it needs to not work that way IMO