So, I've been out of the "dating loop" for a bit now. That includes sex and dating for over a year.
And now I'm turning into the whore of Babalon...........
In the course of 4 days I have attracted two guys.
And both of them were very, um, blow-jobcentric.
The second one basically said no sex without a BJ first. He was kicked out :)
I don't know when this happened, but it seems that blow-jobs are the new foreplay. And they readily admit that they have no interest in reciprocating! WTF?
And I realized that I have some sort of small penis magnet in my pants.............I can honestly say I've never been with a guy over 6in. Some made up for it in girth, but not many. I've also seen some amazingly small guys. I'm not a size-queen, and I will always do my best to work around these situations, but I would like to know what something larger is like. And frankly, 3in is just not enough. It may be the motion in the ocean, but you can't row a boat that won't stay in the water :) And it helps to be aware of your....limitations....and be willing to make the nessessary adjustments.......I've met too many guys that were not willing to, and that just makes me mad. They just plowed along and didn't get why I wasn't super excited.
And another thing! Yes, I'm ranting..........What is up with guys expecting women to cum every time we have sex? Just because you have now located the clit and have a general knowledge of how it works, doesn't mean it's an on/off switch. I don't have sex like a man. I miss the good old days when just the sex was enough. It's to much pressure to be *expected* to cum. I still enjoyed it, isn't that enough? When did this happen? I noticed it years ago, but it still doesn't make sense.
So, back to the original plan of actually saving myself for someone that I care about!
They were just silly mistakes, mistakes we all make from time to time, but I've been beating myself up about them. I guess I just needed a reminder of what I actually need. I forgot why I actually enjoyed not having sex.
So it's not really a question, just some stuff that I needed to get off my somewhat bruised chest...........
And now I'm turning into the whore of Babalon...........
In the course of 4 days I have attracted two guys.
And both of them were very, um, blow-jobcentric.
The second one basically said no sex without a BJ first. He was kicked out :)
I don't know when this happened, but it seems that blow-jobs are the new foreplay. And they readily admit that they have no interest in reciprocating! WTF?
And I realized that I have some sort of small penis magnet in my pants.............I can honestly say I've never been with a guy over 6in. Some made up for it in girth, but not many. I've also seen some amazingly small guys. I'm not a size-queen, and I will always do my best to work around these situations, but I would like to know what something larger is like. And frankly, 3in is just not enough. It may be the motion in the ocean, but you can't row a boat that won't stay in the water :) And it helps to be aware of your....limitations....and be willing to make the nessessary adjustments.......I've met too many guys that were not willing to, and that just makes me mad. They just plowed along and didn't get why I wasn't super excited.
And another thing! Yes, I'm ranting..........What is up with guys expecting women to cum every time we have sex? Just because you have now located the clit and have a general knowledge of how it works, doesn't mean it's an on/off switch. I don't have sex like a man. I miss the good old days when just the sex was enough. It's to much pressure to be *expected* to cum. I still enjoyed it, isn't that enough? When did this happen? I noticed it years ago, but it still doesn't make sense.
So, back to the original plan of actually saving myself for someone that I care about!
They were just silly mistakes, mistakes we all make from time to time, but I've been beating myself up about them. I guess I just needed a reminder of what I actually need. I forgot why I actually enjoyed not having sex.
So it's not really a question, just some stuff that I needed to get off my somewhat bruised chest...........
posted by:
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Missouri
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Wed, June 25, 2008 - 11:54 AMI think you live in the wrong part of the country....
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Wed, June 25, 2008 - 11:55 AMYeah, it's kind of a turn off when someone makes one's own orgasm all about them and their ego! And there's nothing like bad or boring sex to remind one of just how much fun you can have alone ;-)
Now, having emerged into teenhood in the 70s I only have rumours to go on when it comes to "holding out" and such thing, but wasn't there a time when girls used to give guys blowjobs to avoid actually fucking? Kind of like how - so I've heard - Catholic girls get around the virginity thing by letting boys in through the back door...
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Wed, June 25, 2008 - 12:32 PMIf you choose to be with a man, then he had best act like a man…
To Me that means making certain the gift you are giving him is returned 3 fold…
Before he gets his you get yours… spell that out to him and see if he is Man enough.
At least one before his, and mayhap much more…
I have found that when I treat my lover with the proper respect the gift of her Body is a near spiritual thing…
Ok I’ll get off my soap box now…
(No Pun intended)
David
The Dark Knight -
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Wed, June 25, 2008 - 12:39 PMWow I am sorry to hear of your troubles. My only advice is to keep looking. Hopefully soon you will find your *cute, good personality, large penis and loves to satisfy you without demanding it* kinda guy...I know I have and then some : )
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Thu, July 3, 2008 - 8:58 AM>>Before he gets his you get yours…<<
I actually like it the other way around. I'd like to just fall asleep after every once in a while.
; )
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Wed, June 25, 2008 - 12:42 PMDon't beat yourself up for the mistakes. They are there to learn from. Sounds like you have taken some good lessons away from the experiences :-)
I think guys have a rough time understanding, because of our own push-button wiring, that you don't need to cum to be satisfied with sex. We can understand it intellectually but it is hard to truly understand it if that makes any sense. We're so driven by that physiological need that it is hard to internalize (would that be the right word?) that it is different for you.
The rest of this stuff... I have no idea. Weird. Yeah, maybe you live in the wrong part of the continent ;-)
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Wed, June 25, 2008 - 4:47 PMOh my. Sounds like you were two for two. That would make me want to just forget about dating too. I view BJ's like this special gift you give someone and reciprocation in some manner is nice. Maybe I am not like other women but I like to get off when I am with someone and do feel a little deflated if I won't allow myself to. Which is more the case than the skill of the lover I am with. I have to let it happen. But I do admit that intially I can be a bit goal oriented like a guy and it can throw some people off. I guess if I had a lover I was with and enjoying all the time it wouldn't be such a big deal but I give as good as I get.
Now back to sprout. I would hold out, I would also be pretty wary of anyone who tells you how great they are, action is more proof. lol I hope you are able to break this streak somehow. And maybe there is something in the water where you live. heh. I have had all sized really and it depends on the person weilding the sword. Yes, I said sword.
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Wed, June 25, 2008 - 8:53 PMI suggest that you get a hitachi magic wand and find someone to cuddle with until you find mr. go down on me all the time. I admit I give alot of BJ's , but I like cock. If I get frustrated in the sex dept, I just look forward to some porn and gonzo. (the purple attachment for the hitachi)
Good Luck. -
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Wed, June 25, 2008 - 9:21 PMSee, I'm not even that attached to guys going down on me. I like it, but it's not expected.
And I generally like giving head. But it feels weird to be asked for it or to have it be an expectation. -
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 11:52 AMIt isn't really about what you like giving, it sounds like the icky part of this is the sense of entitlement from the guys. I think sense of entitlement is in my top 3 most icky things someone can have going on. Right up there with down right mean.
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 12:10 AMsounds like you're going through all the crap out of your system. triple rinse, i always say. : ) -
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 12:25 AMWow. I don't understand guys like that at all..then again, I'm not big into the beej. But giving on the other hand, that's my favorite thing....
One side note, though..what's with the women who freak the fuck out when a GUY does'nt come? Sometimes you're tired, whatever, don't feel like it...and a couple ladies i've been around lost it! I've had this happen to a couple other guy friends as well.. -
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 4:14 AMI know how you feel Avishai. I have been with a few women who thought very strange if i didnt cum. its not about the destination, its about the scenic tour along the way. -
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 1:33 PMAfter enough people flipping their lid when I don't cum I learned orgasm must be a BIG FECKIN' DEAL for guys. Then I dated a gent who frequently like to just give and go to bed. Well, I always asked if he was done, and he'd say yes, and I let him know he could have more whenever he wanted, and we'd go to bed. Since then I just ask to make sure they're good.
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 7:21 AMpossibly why the women tripped out when you didn't come it was a response to them feeling like they didn't do what they do right in order to "complete" the process. And because it is unusual for someone to stop when they haven't had an orgasm. But as I get older I do meet people that are in that headspace.
I get a little thrown by that because part of the fun of having a lover is giving them satisfaction.
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 7:07 PMIt's funny to me to have a guy flip my question around.
Because guys are expected to cum and women, in general, have not.
But now we are, since guys always did.
But it's nice to know that the males don't need to "finish" either.........
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Fri, June 27, 2008 - 3:52 PMGadz! Sounds ike you're in no-Mans-land. Sounds like you have reason to rant as much as you need to.
As you put it....... "WTF? " But I usually punctuate with 4 or five exclamation marks, in such a case.
On the bright side... from there, things must get better. =)
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Fri, June 27, 2008 - 4:34 PMWhat is up with guys expecting women to cum every time we have sex? Just because you have now located the clit and have a general knowledge of how it works, doesn't mean it's an on/off switch.
I feel you on this. My boyfriend is always bringing this up. I tell him I still enjoyed myself, I just didn't cum. Most times I do, but sometimes, I just don't. To his credit, he usually tries to rectify the situation, but still. And now it's gotten worse, he gets disappointed if I only cum once. Just because we had a 5 in one doesn't mean it's standard practice. I don't get it. -
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Fri, June 27, 2008 - 7:43 PMSo demanding!!!!!! Seriously, we are not machines!!!!!!!
(Except, of course, when I AM a sex machine, but that's a horse of a different color)
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And now for something different......
Sun, June 29, 2008 - 9:13 PMSo to top off my weird encounters, I had a nice date tonight!
He was a customer at my shop, was very direct and asked for my number.
Called when he said he would and everything!
He doesn't like sports or video games (this is somewhat of a miracle for a 25 year old in my town).
He listens to community radio, watches PBS and reads BOOKS!
Frankly, I'm in shock :)
We left with a hug and he asked if he could call me. -
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Re: And now for something different......
Sun, June 29, 2008 - 9:48 PM*smart ass remarking alert*
What no Blow Job?
he just might call you dear:) Boys can be cornfuzzling sometimes.
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Re: And now for something different......
Mon, June 30, 2008 - 12:08 PMWell done Sprout.
Do keep us posted.
I'm sure I'm not the only one here pulling for you & your happiness. -
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Re: And now for something different......
Tue, July 1, 2008 - 9:13 PMHe called today, we're going out on Thursday.
He does what he says he will.........amazing.
It feels so strange. I'm not sure there is a ton of "chemistry", but I just feel comfortable with him. It's just.........easy.
My mother thinks there's something wrong with him. Just because he gets some check-marks doesn't make him an ax murderer does it? ;-o
And thanks for the rooting :)
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Re: Uuuggggh!
Thu, July 3, 2008 - 10:53 AMAs a 50 something grey haired Gomer, I think I live in a different world when I read posts here. I learn so much. I get educated. Your writing on this post makes me think of how young peoples manners are related to Mr Rogers neiborhood teaching young people that they are always wonderful. I think the behaviors are the same as a generation ago, but how it is approched is somehow"rude"? I feel for you in your seach for your ideal partner, in a world where sexual rudeness and bluntness seems to be the norm.
From the point on the top of the head where the accupunture needle goes that makes you feel like there is a string running through our body to the tips of our feet, that is where the sexual parts are, with some very nice extra touchies alone the way...
I say braille the discoveries
