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Seinfeld

topic posted Tue, July 10, 2007 - 8:29 PM by  terra
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Ok, maybe it's just me (I hope not!) but I can't really get enough of Seinfeld. I think it's hilarious, no matter how many times I've seen an episode.

So, the Seinfeld characters are famous for having ridiculous reasons for ending a relationship and/or losing interest: because she has unusually large man hands, she eats peas one at a time, because he played with her old toys, because she didn't swing her arms or wouldn't taste his pie. Ridiculous stuff, right?

So, do you all have any really silly reasons for losing interest and/or breaking up? If so, fess up: I'm curious to hear them.

Me? I went on a date several weeks ago and he had the oddest way of talking. He'd be in the middle of a story about, oh, his workday and in the middle of his thought, he'd pause and look around the room a bit, then lean in some and drop his voice...as if he was about to reveal something juicy. But it was *never* juicy, in anyway. And I fell for it each time, thinking, 'Oh man, this is gonna be interesting...' and lean in a bit too...only to have him say something like, "So then...(pause, look around the room, lean in, drop voice)...I took out the trash and did the recycling." What?! I couldn't go out with him again. It was just a bit too funny and weird.
posted by:
terra
Portland
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  • Re: Seinfeld

    Tue, July 10, 2007 - 9:11 PM
    He kept doing that thing, you know, breathing.
    • Re: Seinfeld

      Tue, July 10, 2007 - 9:38 PM

      Breathing? Seriously? The nerve of some men.

      Farters, gigglers, whiners, breathers....UGH!
      • Re: Seinfeld

        Tue, July 10, 2007 - 10:10 PM
        ...I can't help but wonder what we've done, as women, to make our partners cringe to the point of ending things. I hope the guys chime in...
        • Re: Seinfeld

          Tue, July 10, 2007 - 10:17 PM
          Terra, I don't wanna know what I might have done...lol. Plus usually Im the "dumper" to be honest. The one time I was brutally dumped it was because I expected him to keep his word and not fuck around. Go figure, huh? :o) But I AM interested to hear some of our guys' stories...lol
  • Re: Seinfeld

    Tue, July 10, 2007 - 10:10 PM
    okay, seriously though, I dumped my first boyfriend because he kept fluffing my pillow for me.
    • Re: Seinfeld

      Tue, July 10, 2007 - 10:14 PM
      Yeeeears ago, I was "involved" briefly (rebound, we were NOT dating) with someone who sat on the floor holding my hand and gazing at me adoringly while I read.

      remember him, SV?

      I didn't even realise what he was doing until SV noticed it. Ugh! When I am reading, do NOT bother me. I think he may be why to this day I don't like younger men.
      • Re: Seinfeld

        Tue, July 10, 2007 - 10:23 PM
        I dumped someone for many reasons, one of them was he would eat my dinner after finishing his. I started eating fast to be able to have my own meal.
        • Re: Seinfeld

          Tue, July 10, 2007 - 10:46 PM
          DING!

          Good lord how did you find these people?????

          Ok, ok, ok well I did have x girlfriend that belched very loud, bad? well when dinning at nice place?!?! movies hmm…. could not decide if I liked it or not.

          Ok I am a guy but that really sucked didn’t it…
      • Re: Seinfeld

        Tue, July 10, 2007 - 11:08 PM
        oh yes... I remember mike. Later to gain fame as *the* difinitive example of a puppyfuck.
        • Re: Seinfeld

          Tue, July 10, 2007 - 11:16 PM

          A "puppyfuck" -- is this 'cause he was young? I've never heard that term before. I like.

          And Web, I thought he was holding your hand when you read outloud, to him, and didn't think it sounded terribly weird...but when I realized that he gazed at you and held your hand while you were reading on your own killed me! I picture that, with Melissa's pillow getting fluffed 24/7 and can't stop laughing.
          • Re: Seinfeld

            Tue, July 10, 2007 - 11:18 PM
            well he was young...but I think it was more the puppy like behavior. Not sure how to explain it.
          • Re: Seinfeld

            Wed, July 11, 2007 - 7:24 AM
            <A "puppyfuck" -- is this 'cause he was young?>

            yeah...part of it was that he was young...verrrry young (I was 26 he was 19)...but like SV said it was more the puppy-like behaviour. He was tall and gangly and he hadn't grown into his body, yanno? He kind of reminded you of a puppy who kept tripping over his feet and trying to please and really trying hard but still managing to piddle on the floor accidentally. Sweet and charming but innocently dumb. Im eternally grateful to whatever gods were watching over me that we never did the second part of his name. LOL

            And I can totally see my Puppyfuck and Melissa's Pillowfluffer being the same guy! LOL
            • Re: Seinfeld

              Wed, July 11, 2007 - 11:10 AM

              Ahh, puppyfuck.

              My friends and I call those people 'Adorable Morons.' They're morons, so you can't put up with them for long...but there's something cute about them that makes you want to give 'em a chance.

              But they're morons.
              • Re: Seinfeld

                Wed, July 11, 2007 - 5:07 PM
                I'm so not mistress of my domain, either...

                Puppyfuck! Heehee! I've had me a couple of those. One was a lot younger, but one wasn't... I enjoy a bit of grateful worship, but they were annoying... If anyone tried to hold my hand & gaze at me while I was trying to read, I'd have to swat that person w/ a newspaper.

                It occurs to me... this tribe is beginning to rival "Seinfeld", in it's very own special vocabulary, ala "manssire" (the man-boob bra invented by George's father) "yadayada" & "slow-talker"...

                Ang, I think those are mostly pretty good reasons to break up w/ someone...
                • Re: Seinfeld

                  Thu, July 12, 2007 - 11:07 PM
                  >>It occurs to me... this tribe is beginning to rival "Seinfeld", in it's very own special vocabulary, ala "manssire" (the man-boob bra invented by George's father) "yadayada" & "slow-talker"...<<

                  Don't forget "The Bro," Kramer's first name for the Manssire. The Bro. That kills me.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Seinfeld

                    Thu, July 12, 2007 - 11:31 PM
                    HA!!! I'd forgotten the Manssire was also called The Bro'!! Thanks, terra!
        • Re: Seinfeld

          Wed, July 11, 2007 - 7:16 AM
          <<Later to gain fame as *the* difinitive example of a puppyfuck. >>

          lol...yep. The Puppyfuck. Ugh! LOL
  • Re: Seinfeld

    Tue, July 10, 2007 - 11:16 PM
    Hmm I don't break up. Though there have been times when I was getting to know someone with potential and they did stuff that made me go oooooooh nooooooooo.

    I am sure the example or incident of what showed me something about them would seem silly. I will have to think about what they were.

    I remember one bizarre thing. a guy a friend set me up with who kept "sipping" out of a prescription pill bottle all night when he thought I wasn't looking. Turned out it he was actually spitting his chew out cause he didn't want me to know he chewed. eeewww.
    • Re: Seinfeld

      Wed, July 11, 2007 - 7:28 AM
      <<Turned out it he was actually spitting his chew out cause he didn't want me to know he chewed.>>

      Hm...kinda seems like a better way to do that woulda been to NOT chew in front of you.

      Ugh...*shudder*...chewing is disgusting.
      • Re: Seinfeld

        Wed, July 11, 2007 - 6:20 PM
        I thought so too...though ultimately I thought it was all lame cause if I won't date a guy who chews...then what was the point anyway?
  • Re: Seinfeld

    Tue, July 10, 2007 - 11:28 PM
    Let's see...........
    I dumped two guys for wanting me tooooo much
    I dumped one for sleep-eating, snorring and not paying attention...........
    Yeah, Seinfield made me too picky.
    I won't talk to/get involved with someone b/c they:
    litter
    eat weird
    camp in a way that doesn't fit with me
    are too excited by their own bodily functions (farts, announcing bathroom activities)
    won't look me in the eye/look too hard in my eyes..

    Like I said, this show brings out all my many neurosis............
    • Unsu...
       

      Re: Seinfeld

      Tue, July 10, 2007 - 11:38 PM
      I have never dumped anyone over some silly reason. but i was dumped once because i didnt party that much, and preferred to do things outside more than inside
      • Re: Seinfeld

        Wed, July 11, 2007 - 12:31 AM
        ROTFLMAO!!! Ohhhh, thank you for this thread, Terra, it's made me laugh out loud at least several times so far...

        I think the stupidest reason I ever dumped a guy, was because he shaved his beard... & revealed that he had NO chin. I mean, it was like Neander-jaw... he went from being relatively handsome, to reminding me of a ferret. I just couldn't get it up for him anymore... I was young, OK? Truth is, I wasn't really that into him... or I probably just woulda bugged him to grow his beard again...

        I love Seinfeld, too... & what I want to know is... are you mistress of your domain?
        • Re: Seinfeld

          Wed, July 11, 2007 - 1:32 AM
          Oh, & I have actually been to a Festivus Celebration- complete w/ festive pole, Feats of Strength, & Airing of Grievances. Naturally, there was Ben & Jerry's Festivus Ice Cream.

          The Soup Nazi was based on a real guy, y'know.
          • Re: Seinfeld

            Wed, July 11, 2007 - 9:42 AM

            First, I am so *not* the mistress of my domain. I would be like Kramer, slapping my money on your table very soon after joining the bet. Holy shit, that is one of my very favorite episodes -- I especially love that they didn't wanna include Elaine based on their perceptions of women and masturbation.

            A long-ago ex-boyfriend of mine was kinda short, shaved head, beard, glasses, wore khakis and short-sleeved button-down shirts; the first time my older brother met him, he started referring to him as Costanza. I couldn't look at him the same after that -- he really did resemble George! I didn't feel attracted to him after that (his voice even started to sound like George's when he's freaking out) and we broke-up soon after my bro met him. (Ahhh, the power of suggestion...). So I guess this is another ridiculous break-up: he looked like George.

            I'm still laughing about you thinking your guy looked like a ferret.

            And I think you're right: I bet none of us would have ended these budding relationships if we'd really been into the guy to begin with.
  • Re: Seinfeld

    Wed, July 11, 2007 - 9:51 AM
    i LOVE SEINFELD!!!!

    So, I am usually the "dumper" unfortunately, and yes, it has been due to many reasons:

    -not being a cuddler
    -having a dirty bathroom/kitchen
    -not liking me be "on top" (WTF)
    -only liking me to be on my stomach (wtf)
    -not wanting to drive to see me (ok, and he also wanted a culkholder) (sp?)
    -didn't like sushi
    -he was gay
    -didn't listen to anything i said
    -said they were poly and they were not.
    -smoked or drank too much
    -had a 2 inch penis


    and YES these were all different people!

    Often, i will dump someone early on since i know things just wouldn't work out in the end. I don't drag dates on to see if they "work" i know pretty quick whether it will work long term.

    LOL

  • Re: Seinfeld

    Wed, July 11, 2007 - 10:14 AM
    when he breaths through his mouth (loudly!!!) or smacks his lips. oh, and nose hairs being not nicely trimmed *shivers*
  • Re: Seinfeld

    Wed, July 11, 2007 - 10:38 AM
    LMAO!!! I love this thread - Seinfeld is STILL one of my favorite shows and I almost NEVER watch tv - I make an exception for Seinfeld re-runs.

    FM, the Soup Nazi was too funny. Whenever a particular friend an I go out to eat and get rude service we just look at each other and say "NOOOO soup for YOU!"

    I loved the way that show made fun of stereotypes and gender issues. It really was brilliantly done.
  • Re: Seinfeld

    Wed, July 11, 2007 - 10:52 PM
    The first time I met this one guy he asked me if I minded if he tried
    to pick me up and carry him. He said he can't date a girl that he
    can't pick up and carry.....weird.

    Vixxen
    • Re: Seinfeld

      Thu, July 12, 2007 - 8:49 AM
      um...that would be it for me. I would say no.
      • Re: Seinfeld

        Thu, July 12, 2007 - 9:25 AM
        yeah, that sounds like a roundabout way of checking you out to see if you're too fat
        • Re: Seinfeld

          Thu, July 12, 2007 - 11:08 AM
          and/or some wierd insecurity on his part...or a power trip. all icky.

          Though I might turn it around..."oh great idea...cause you look a little iffy on if you can handle me or not"
          • Re: Seinfeld

            Thu, July 12, 2007 - 11:42 AM
            When I was 9 months pregnant, my 5'7" 140-pound husband picked my sleepy self up off the couch, carried me to the bedroom, and tucked me in bed. I know I outweighed him by 30 or 40 pounds at that point. That's my favorite memory of him.

            heh, i know that has nothing to do with the topic, it just popped out.
  • Re: Seinfeld

    Thu, July 12, 2007 - 12:08 PM
    Well, I don't know about silly (they seemed like reasonable objections to me) but here are a few unusual reasons for breaking up:

    1. There was the one who whined a lot, about everything.

    2. Or the girl who ordered a large popcorn at the movies, and then poured two boxes of milk-duds into it! That was too weird for me!

    3. The who had dentures, at age 23, and didn't tell me. She did remove them in the restaurant and set them on the table while she rinsed out her mouth.

    4. And finally, the OCD woman, who, after two dates, immediately started planning the wedding, the menu, and what to name each of our six children!
    • Re: Seinfeld

      Thu, July 12, 2007 - 2:56 PM
      ~ And finally, the OCD woman, who, after two dates, immediately started planning the wedding, the menu, and what to name each of our six children!~

      holy shit man, run like hell!!!
      • Re: Seinfeld

        Thu, July 12, 2007 - 5:58 PM
        7 words:

        The Date Who Showed Up With Luggage.

        Wouldn't even open my door for her. Some women can be scary.

        To quote Chief Wiggum, "Why are the pretty ones always insane?"
        • Re: Seinfeld

          Thu, July 12, 2007 - 6:39 PM
          Luggage? Like multiple pieces? (What am I saying - as if one wouldn't be more than enough!)

          My little shoulder bag that doubles as a purse holds a change of clothes very unobtrusively. ;-)
        • Re: Seinfeld

          Thu, July 12, 2007 - 11:27 PM
          Wow Ron, maybe she thought you were a lesbian...

          Y'know, that ancient joke: "What does a lesbian bring to a first date?
          Ans: Flowers & a U-Haul."

          I've had men do that show up w/ luggage thing. Homeless hippie men. My best friend & I made a vow in our early 30s- No more 23 yr old homeless guys!!! For some reason they were always 23...

          I had that same thought Melissa... Junior Mints wouldn't go well w/ the popcorn. Milk Duds remind me of needles. There was a candy machine in the medical center we went to when I was a kid. If I stayed still when I had to get a shot, Mom would buy me a box of Milk Duds.

          No wonder I grew up to prefer Junior Mints.
    • Re: Seinfeld

      Thu, July 12, 2007 - 6:33 PM
      *admits to loving warm melty milkduds in hot buttery popcorn*
      • Re: Seinfeld

        Thu, July 12, 2007 - 8:06 PM
        really? but it cant be salty butter right? ima have to try it now, damn you.
        • Re: Seinfeld

          Thu, July 12, 2007 - 8:10 PM
          oh yah, salty definitely. salty and sweet melty caramel chocolate buttery warm crunchy gooey mess. Then you gotta kiss somebody.
          • Re: Seinfeld

            Thu, July 12, 2007 - 8:11 PM
            junior mints is weird though.
            • Re: Seinfeld

              Thu, July 12, 2007 - 8:12 PM
              heh. i just said "mints is"
              • Re: Seinfeld

                Thu, July 12, 2007 - 8:29 PM
                I get it now...kinda like caramel popcorn?
                • Re: Seinfeld

                  Thu, July 12, 2007 - 8:31 PM
                  yeah, only you're in the dark, so you never know when you're gonna get that perfect bite of yum....
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Seinfeld

                    Thu, July 12, 2007 - 8:38 PM
                    Now I wanna try it too!
                    • Re: Seinfeld

                      Thu, July 12, 2007 - 10:55 PM

                      Ok, I've never brought luggage to a date, nor have I planned a wedding and kids...but I love the popcorn and chocolate combo. Milk duds are a fabulous idea, but I grew up on popcorn and raisinets (thanks, Dad) and can't imagine changing my ways now.

                      Meanwhile, I think I have some mini-Charleston Chews in the freezer....
          • Re: Seinfeld

            Thu, July 12, 2007 - 8:56 PM
            mmm I think I'm going to have to have some kettle corn tonight to at least get a bit of sweet salty now that you got me thinking about it...or do I have some crunch n munch? or mabe carmels in my kettle corn...
            • Re: Seinfeld

              Thu, July 12, 2007 - 8:57 PM
              you tryin to get some RThonay too???
              • Re: Seinfeld

                Fri, July 13, 2007 - 7:42 AM
                You girls are tooooo...funny!
                Jerry was actually a client of mine in NYC and when I first met him I had no idea who he was as I did not have a TV. When all of the whispering started around the store I caught on that he was someone everyone but me knew but just kept treating him like anyone else. He is very funny naturally and pretty close to character and we had a good laugh later about me being the only New Yorker who did not know who he was! When I finally left NYC he came into the store asking for me and my assistant told him I was in the mountains of Peru finding myself and they shared alot of laughs at my expense...broke up with my ex-fiance when it got to the point that I would walk into the den stark naked and ready and he would not even move his eyes from the computer screen or tv set. Can you say Addict?
                • Re: Seinfeld

                  Fri, July 13, 2007 - 1:46 PM
                  I just gotta ask -
                  how many of you have told that guy why
                  you were really going to stop seeing him?
                  Did you say, "it's your chin, farts, breath, eyes,
                  and all that?
                  Or did you make up another reason.
                  How did that go over btw?
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Seinfeld

                    Fri, July 13, 2007 - 3:49 PM
                    I have told guys "why", but sometimes I won't unless they ask cuz I don't want to come across as nitpicky or mean.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Seinfeld

                    Fri, July 13, 2007 - 4:15 PM
                    I think with the pillowfluffer, I told him I felt smothered because he was so *nice*. I think I did try to give him examples, but I don't think he really got it.

                    Other than that, I've been the one dumped, so it hasn't come up. I think the point is, though, that although the reasons seem frivolous, they are indicative of much deeper reasons that it's very difficult to define. We tend to try to pin epheremal feelings of unease onto a single concrete indicator, but it's really not about the fingernail biting at all, is it? It's about lack of self-confidence and insecurity, or whatever else that habit represents to us.

                    Like TELawrence's milkdud-popcorn girl, if he'd really been into her, he would have been enchanted by her weirdness.
                    • Re: Seinfeld

                      Fri, July 13, 2007 - 5:49 PM
                      <<<just gotta ask -
                      how many of you have told that guy why
                      you were really going to stop seeing him? >>>

                      No, not if it was something he could do nothing about... why tell the ferret-chinned man? What was he supposed to do- get a chin implant? Like I said, if I was REALLY into him, I just would've kept telling him how sexy I thought he looked with a beard...

                      If it's a case where we've only been out a time or two, then I just figure for a variety of reasons he's not for me... & I've certainly been rejected... In that kind of scenario, do any of us really want explanations?

                      Usually, I've had pretty good reasons for breaking up w/ someone. And I tend to be pretty honest, & can let a lot of petty stuff go more easily than I used to, if I really like/love/respect/have the hots for someone.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Seinfeld

                    Fri, July 13, 2007 - 6:31 PM
                    when I tell someone that I don't want to explore possiblities...I am honest with them in the most gentle sense and then get more specific as they wish, need or are comfortable. I have had guys who didn't want to know and that is fine. and guys who wanted to know and that is fine and guys who didn't get it unless I was so brutally honest it made me cringe to say the words and that's fine too.
                    • Re: Seinfeld

                      Fri, July 13, 2007 - 10:35 PM
                      we broke up over muuuuch bigger reasons, and luckily it was one of the shortest relationships ive been in.
  • Re: Seinfeld

    Fri, July 13, 2007 - 2:21 PM
    I had a date with a guy who sounded and acted just like George....i forgot his name....i just referred to him as George to my girlfriends.
    He was new to the neighborhood, same one as me, and was a homophobic....apparently he didn't do any research before moving in....because my neighborhood is extremely diverse and has a very large gay community!

    Other guys and reasons include:
    extremely dry sense of humor.......crickets chirping dry...
    tiny penis :(
    all sex talk all the time
    weird nasal cavity....i don't like to look at boogers all the time



  • Re: Seinfeld

    Fri, July 13, 2007 - 7:09 PM
    what a great thread! I wish I had the blazing certainty to break up over totally minor annoyances. My last boyfriend was seriously bipolar, like quite definitely mentally unstable. And I am still wishing it could have worked out, somehow! (yes, I was the dumper). And my ex-husband is dating men now.

    so, let's see, on a less scary scale:

    Constant trips to the bathroom, aka tiny bladder syndrome (very annoying in public places)
    Unacceptable radio stations on preset in car
    Poor spelling in otherwise wonderful love notes
    Too attached to his cat

    and no, I didn't fess up.

  • Re: Seinfeld

    Fri, July 13, 2007 - 10:57 PM
    There was one guy that I just couldn't stand the sound of his voice. It hurt my ears. It was wierd; monotone and nasal. Blehk.

    The only other one I can think of at this hour is the guy who said "umm" too much. He couldn't form a sentance without interjecting 'umm' somewhere. Drove me nuts!

    BTW, I never liked Seinfield. I just couldn't get into it.
    • Re: Seinfeld

      Sat, July 14, 2007 - 11:31 AM
      I liked seinfeld ok for awhile...but eventually I didn't like any of the characters and then I couldn't even watch it.

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