Ask a Sexy Woman Anything's topics - tribe.net

MILF

2008-07-05T21:06:47Z

Insulting or flattering?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 50 replies

Paid to Make A Pron Movie

2008-07-05T17:32:33Z

let's say you were approached to have a starring spot in a porn movie of your type or choice, and you were being paid handsomely for it ... would you indulge in making one?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 5 replies

First-Date Love Making

2008-07-05T08:12:57Z

Here's a question most of you ladies are quite familiar with, have often struggled with, but I'd just like to know: if a date has been right, would you feel like making love on the first date, or would you feel different about it?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 14 replies

nose penetration

2008-07-04T18:08:47Z

That's the question.. for one more way to enjoy, maybe,, what do you think,, I have only tried it a couple of times with lovers and quite frankly haven't got great response, but as I write this I think I only tried it in the missionary nose position and never nose penetrated in the 69 position, which would clearly lever the toungue to have upside behavior. Would you consider this behaviour part of fun sex or just plain odd.?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 10 replies

8 Kinds of Sex Every Couple Should Try?...

2008-07-03T20:19:45Z

I came across this article & wanted to share it, even though I'm at the risk of being Vanilla!

The hottest couples don't just have great sex — they have embarrassing sex, and make-up sex, and wild, can't-walk-the-next-day sex, and more. And the thing is, every kind of sex is crucial for your bond – yes, even couldn't-quite-stay-awake- to-finish sex.
Here's how. By Amy Spencer
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/loveandromance/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=6394921

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 15 replies

Am I the only woman in the world...

2008-07-03T19:34:43Z

...that doesn't watch nor has the desire to watch Sex and the City? Just wondering.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 24 replies

Uuuggggh!

2008-07-03T17:53:03Z

So, I've been out of the "dating loop" for a bit now. That includes sex and dating for over a year.
And now I'm turning into the whore of Babalon...........
In the course of 4 days I have attracted two guys.
And both of them were very, um, blow-jobcentric.
The second one basically said no sex without a BJ first. He was kicked out :)
I don't know when this happened, but it seems that blow-jobs are the new foreplay. And they readily admit that they have no interest in reciprocating! WTF?
And I realized that I have some sort of small penis magnet in my pants.............I can honestly say I've never been with a guy over 6in. Some made up for it in girth, but not many. I've also seen some amazingly small guys. I'm not a size-queen, and I will always do my best to work around these situations, but I would like to know what something larger is like. And frankly, 3in is just not enough. It may be the motion in the ocean, but you can't row a boat that won't stay in the water :) And it helps to be aware of your....limitations....and be willing to make the nessessary adjustments.......I've met too many guys that were not willing to, and that just makes me mad. They just plowed along and didn't get why I wasn't super excited.
And another thing! Yes, I'm ranting..........What is up with guys expecting women to cum every time we have sex? Just because you have now located the clit and have a general knowledge of how it works, doesn't mean it's an on/off switch. I don't have sex like a man. I miss the good old days when just the sex was enough. It's to much pressure to be *expected* to cum. I still enjoyed it, isn't that enough? When did this happen? I noticed it years ago, but it still doesn't make sense.
So, back to the original plan of actually saving myself for someone that I care about!
They were just silly mistakes, mistakes we all make from time to time, but I've been beating myself up about them. I guess I just needed a reminder of what I actually need. I forgot why I actually enjoyed not having sex.
So it's not really a question, just some stuff that I needed to get off my somewhat bruised chest...........

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 26 replies

Tribe Newbies and Tribe Bullies

2008-06-28T16:53:36Z

Alright, so after a sound lashing in another tribe for agreeing with another's post that gray-heads with no friends and no profile info other than a city, state, age and sex sort of get the antenna up, I wanted your thoughts.

After this guy left a question, a couple people gave him good answers and then the weird vollying about his ligitimacy started and he hasn't been back to defend himself at all. Or even say thanks for suggestions. Nada!
Some other people in that tribe got on us because they contend that a newbie would be totally scared off by that kind of thing. I think he needs a thicker skin :) Maybe I do to because I felt attacked just for suggesting he post again, saying it's sort of tribe etiquette to check back on your original posts. Somebody jumped down my throat saying I can't get my feelings hurt just because someone doesn't live up to my expectations of behavior (huh? wha?). My words got all twisted in somebody's head! Maybe Etiquette wasn't the right word. I should have said it's common for people to check back..........
Blah, blah blah!!!!!!!!

I just needed to vent about the weird tribal bs happening to me today.......

And I feel a little like a kid on the playground, running back to their old group after trying to play with some bigger kids "They were mean to me!!!" I don't mean it that way at all............just wondered if you have had problems with bullies on Tribe........ :) People can be so uppity when anonymous!

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 28 replies

Misogyny

2008-06-28T16:07:58Z

I would put it to you that this is hurled as an insult upon men that do not share ones point of view much as in later days terms like slut and bitch were hurled. I find this more than a bit disturbing.

I was recently accused in another forum of this truly despicable sin and social faux paux. I laughed a bit a blew it off since those that know me know the truth as the evidence is readily apparent.

So ladies when and why do ya hurl this insult and why should it be considered acceptable behavior and not racked in the same set of bins as various derogatory statements?

JSin

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 23 replies

i have this friend.....

2008-06-28T10:02:28Z

and she is married.

she has been with other men, unbeknownst to her husband, and continues this behavior even today. I met her through a mutual friend and did some work for her. during that time she began flirting with me. suggests we trade massage... i know her husband wouldn't like this behavior and i quickly cut our communications.

she continues to give me text's, updates about her life, and quick "hello's" on a regular basis. it's making me nervous as i've already told her it makes me uncomfortable and i know her husband wouldn't like it. she laughs and goes on like we never had the conversation.

i guess it's been a while since i've met someone who seems to have no consideration for her husbands feelings, and now mine. Maybe he's doing the same thing and she hasn't said anything?

I'm probably going to discontinue this young friendship but it seems like a shame because she is a decent person in every other way....

Thoughts?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 7 replies

Venus, Goddess of DESTRUCTION

2008-06-27T06:44:45Z

A priceless quote from my dearest friend Rhyonna:

"Venus is a smart woman, Ron. She'll seduce Aries until she leaves her mark, and then he will fight wars in her name...thus making her renowned. Woman are evil."

Venus has my sword. And my shield. And my heart.

For Venus!

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 32 replies

sex under water

2008-06-27T06:26:04Z

Have you ever had sex with someone under water? In a hot tub? In a swimming pool? In a bathtub? In the ocean?

What is it like? Does it restrict lubrication? Does it enhance the orgasm?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 31 replies

overconfidence and arrogance

2008-06-26T07:25:50Z

Hey Sexy woman,
Assuming that both male and female have the same emotional capacity and capabilities and understanding that any other ideology is inherently sexist. When is a woman grossly overconfident or considered arrogant? Can a woman not exhibit these particular emotional traits? If so who would you give as an example?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 21 replies

how can you tell?

2008-06-24T03:46:27Z

ok, this may get a bit lengthy but I will try my best to sum it up short and to the point...

My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for about 7 years... but have been back in a serious monogamous relationship for over a year... (this being our third time). Lately our sex-life has really drifted. First I thought it was because of my school schedule, which was a bit crazy last semester for about 3 months... and now I guess my excuse is that our work schedules are conflicting...
but honestly, for some reason, I seem to have lost that yearning to just jump his bones and get it on! What the hell? This is totally not like me. I mean the last relationship I was in, we couldn't get enough sex.. We'd have sex for hours... I could not lay next to that guy without wanting him... and the crazy part... the guy I am with now is the best. He is a wonderful guy. Although lately I am noticing that there are quite a few differences between us, our personalities and such... He is attractive, has a great smile, and those eyes that I adore... but I feel like the passion is gone...
I just don't know what to do... I feel like I have a tendency to try and mess things up before they get there, maybe as kind of a self-defense mechanism or something...
oh I don't know... I love him, I have loved him for the past 7 years... but now I sit here pondering if this is enough for me? and it seems like its not just the sex.

I go through these stages, or periods in my life, where I feel one way, and then it changes and I feel another way. I was so excited when we got back together... thinking of how great we are and then it got serious enough for me to think how I want to marry him and have kids with him. Now the thought of that kinda freaks me out... what is going on with me!?!?!?

is it me? Can I fix it? Am I over analyzing this?

And on top of this, I have recently hung out with two guys who I kinda had a little interest in about a year ago, both instances were fun, and I noticed an obvious connection, though not sure if only sexual... nothing happened, just hung out, caught up on life and had a great time. but good conversation, which to me is partially what seems to be missing out of my current relationship. He is just one of those guys who isn't a talker... and well... I am... so maybe that has something to do with it?
I am lost.. and don't know what to think....

how do you know when it is right... and for good? I can't tell if its me just making something out of nothing, or me noticing something that is not there.... how can you tell?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 3 replies

courtship phase

2008-06-23T06:20:10Z

ok, sexy ladies, i have a problem. i'm not good at the courtship phase. i'm ok when it's just humpin, & i think i make a good boyfriend, or that's what i hear anyway, but that phase between the two freaks me right the fuck out. i get antsy, i get impatient, i get jealous. i hate to admit all this, but there it is. i still haven't figured out how to go about changing this.
but what i want to know is, is it fair of me to just come right out & say to a woman, 'look, i know i'm being a pain in the ass right now, & i don't expect you to solve all my problems, but just bear w/me while this phase passes'? is that too much to ask? & i mean that seriously--is that too much to ask? am i being unfair?
i'm sure it's obvious this isn't just a random curiosity-based question. yes, i did really say that to her. i think she's worth my going through this, & i think i'm worth it too. so i said it. because i'm kinda freaking out lately, & really it's not all to do w/her. it's also my personal situation. just moved back to milwaukee after a year in tucson, & i'm fucking hating it here. anyhow, blah blah blah.

oh, & dudes, do any of you find yourselves going through something similar? i know guys are s'posed to be all detached & easy-come-easy-go & whatnot, but that's just not me. i can't be the only one, i hope...

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 7 replies

Identity

2008-06-22T02:17:31Z

My oldest child's high school graduation has me thinking a good bit about how horrible it feels to have to let go of telling him what to do :-) And I've been reflecting on how much of who I am has centered around being a mom. There was a time when Melissa was nearly invisible, and I still think being a parent is a huge part of my identity. But I realized over the last couple of years or so, that slipping into that sort of thing is really not healthy, and began reclaiming the parts of me that have nothing to do with my kids.

Anyway, I was wondering, for those of you who are parents, what percentage of your identity is wrapped up in that? Also, what part of your identity is defined by other things you do? If you're not a parent, does your job play the biggest factor? A specific hobby? I know when I was diagnosed with diabetes, I fought hard against being labeled "a diabetic". That's not what I wanted to be.

I'd say at one time I was 95% Mom. It's still pretty high, I suppose, but maybe 70% Mom, 10% Creative, 10% Thinker, 10% Silly. (Notice I'm 0% Mortgage Loan Processor, no matter how many hours a day I spend doing that.) I think I'd like to become a better Friend, but I'm pretty self-centered right now. Of course the Rock Star thing is just never gonna happen.

What do you think?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 17 replies

taboo = fetish?

2008-06-20T20:39:38Z

It occurs to me that I think taboo might be an important if not vital element to all of the fetishes I can think of. Like once something is normal then it's not sexualized the same way. Does that strike you as true? whatever your observation is what do you think that means about fetishes.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 39 replies

Marriage

2008-06-20T00:28:16Z

the subject seems to be popping up all over the place today(o:

I feel like for most people there is a difference between being Married, and being in primarily the same relationship without being married. I don't mean marriage necessarily like go down to the court house or the church, but a decision between two people to be married(if that makes sense.) and I think the difference is likely different for everyone. But I wanted to know what you guys think.

Do you think there is a difference? if so what do you think it is? or what does it feel like to you?

Let's pretend that the government has gotten totally out of the marriage business. No longer does it give you any legal benefits or recognition you can not get by being unmarried partners...what would be left to make it something special or important to you? or would there be anything?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 13 replies

Ladies, does a confident man intimidate you?

2008-06-19T15:07:10Z

i often hear about this from women, that a confident woman seems to intimidate men, so how about the reverse? Does a confident man intimidate YOU? if so this might explain why i when i was single, mind you, and when im feeling supremely confident in myself) have misread signals from women in the past, yet when in a relattionship and feeling comfortable with my self i can pick up on it.
SO..... feedback anyone?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 20 replies

Joy

2008-06-18T23:46:45Z

I realized today that I don't really daydream any more. And I really should be. I've created a good bit of room in my life for things that make me happy, but I'm not sure what to put in there.

So my question is, what are the top five things that bring you joy?

And, if you care to share, what sorts of things do you daydream about?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 24 replies

Profanity

2008-06-18T20:28:19Z

I need a little help here. I've been getting nowhere trying to explain to a guy why it is kind of lame to use "f*#king" this and "s*%t, bi@%h" that, as if they were prepositional phrases in every other sentence. What do sexy women have to say about guys or even women constantly using profanity in "regular" conversation? In intimate moments really graphic phrases can sometimes kick things up. But this particular person seems to be clueless. I am not saying they are "bad" people, but their language does have an impact on how they are perceived, and I assume especially by women. The only response I've gotten from them is, "If they can't get passed that, f*%k 'em!"

":^|

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 14 replies

Emotion vs economy

2008-06-15T20:28:41Z

I was talking to a friend about relationship stuff and he mentioned economy vs emotion. Not The Economy like the sad state of our financial economy. But the economy of a relationship ie how well it is meeting our needs(I thought it was interesting Theresa posted about that today!) and how that is separate from the emotion of the relationship ie how we feel about the person.

I had not realized that people did not necessarily see these are two separate areas, I think for me it is very natural to see them very separately. So I wondered...how well do you do in separating these two parts of a relationship?

Have you been in a relationship where you loved them passionately...but the relationship simply did not or could not meet your needs for whatever reason?how difficult was it to see that it not meeting your needs was not necessarily connected to their feelings for you or your feelings for them? or Maybe you have been in a relationship where the relationship was working for you(giving you stability and sex whatever it is you felt good about having) but you were not passionately in love with them?
~~~

For me, I have been in the first kind of relationship. Passionately in love...but the relationship just wasn't meeting my needs, fitting my life. It is very hard for me in the midst of it to see that it didn't mean he didn't love me. It's much easier now that I'm not there anymore. But I began wondering if he could separate the too. If he thought that because it didn't work for me it meant that I didn't love him.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 11 replies

Yay!

2008-06-14T21:45:09Z

I got my first ever ever job interview! It's on Tuesday at Old navy for a sales associate position. I'm super psyched about it.

Any Advice?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 16 replies

Birthday Girl Photo

2008-06-13T04:27:38Z

Looking good Queenie, can't wait to serenade you with the sweet strains of Tom Jones you requested at your karaoke party! Maybe we'll sing a duet of something silly!

Love your smile in the main photo, makes me happy!

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 7 replies

Quirks

2008-06-12T19:48:00Z

My question is this:
Do women enjoy quirky sex practices from and with their men?
Examples; sex toys, anal / vaginal / otherwise, nitrates / poppers, hot wax, video taping, ad infinity..
Pretty much I like it nasty and I know specifically why I do. what quirky things do you sexy women enjoy with your men and what about it turns you on?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 12 replies

Needs vs. Wants (x posted AASM)

2008-06-12T19:23:12Z

Of course there is a difference between wants and needs. I might be hungry and want a hot fudge sundae but what my body really needs is some protein. Last night something was said to me about wants and needs. I guess what I think I want turns out to not be what I needed. This was driven home to me this week on more than one occasion, often having to do with things of a sexual nature.

What I want (need!) to know is what are your thoughts on this. What have you wanted only to find out you did not need it? How have you figured out what it is that you need? How have your needs changed over time? Is it easy to communicate what you need to those you love, or is communicating what you want easier?

Thanks!

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 3 replies

openness

2008-06-12T04:31:44Z

what is the hardest thing to talk to significant other's about?

I'm trying to think of all of the different things that might be difficult.

My hardest is telling my sweetie when I'm upset with him. It's only happened a couple of times but I usually just get quiet for awhile until I'm sure I can explain my reaction as opposed to being reactive. He's so sweet I know when he does something that upsets me he didn't do it on purpose so I'd hate to yell at him or something.

So I wonder, is it emotional stuff? is it self esteem stuff? sexual stuff? something you want stuff? telling them you aren't into something they want?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 16 replies

Orgasm Vision

2008-06-11T14:56:51Z

The Diamond Vine

The first time I ever had an orgasm, I was by myself. The instrument of pleasure was a little, cheap, purple $5.95 vibrator that I later named Old Faithful. Since I had never had orgasm before, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had been trying to have one for a while and was not having very much luck with it. Other people that I had spoken with about it said, just relax. Don’t be so focused on having one, just focus on feeling good. Do what feels good. If you think too much about having one, you will psych yourself out and be too tense. Just relax and do what feels good. Some folks said, drink a glass of wine. Some folks said, turn the lights down low, put on some nice music. Some folks said, think about a man you’re really turned on by.
So there I was, lying on my bed in the dark with Sutekh on the computer speakers, and holding the buzzing Old Faithful.
I had my eyes closed and was trying different configurations & speeds for Old Faithful. I wasn’t really picturing any particular man, more just concentrating on the physical sensations. Suddenly, completely unbidden, I had this vision.
I saw a jumble of vines, like in a rainforest maybe, and in the middle of the vines was a tiny, shining diamond. I thought that was interesting, and as I continued to experiment with Old Faithful, the diamond became brighter and bigger. I felt my heartrate going up and felt really, really good. I kept going. The diamond became bigger and brighter, and I felt my body tensing up, and then, white light and sparks shot out of the diamond, and all the vines twitched and twisted, like excited snakes. And my body contracted and I thought, “I think that was it. Holy cow, that diamond thing was it! I did it!”
I mean, WE did it. Me and Old Faithful.
It was the weirdest and coolest thing ever. And for the longest time after that, whenver I would have an orgasm, that was all I would see, that diamond and those vines. I didn’t think it was all that odd until my friend JP asked me what I thought about when I was pleasuring myself and I told him.
“That’s weird,” he said. “I have never heard of anything like that.”
“Well what do most people think of?” I asked.
“Sex!” he said. “They imagine themselves with somebody else.”
“Oh,” I said.
“But it’s cool, it’s cool,” he reassured me. “Whatever gets the job done.”
And then later, as more times passed, I stopped having that vision, and now I usually do just think of sexual situations. But the other day, I was with somebody, and the diamond and the vines came back, and I was real excited to see them. The orgasm I had was super intense, almost like that first one, and when my partner asked if I wanted another one a bit later, I said no way, I was still thinking about the first one, still trying to figure it out, because it felt like, well… what did it feel like? It felt like I had gone somewhere else, into some other land. Almost like when you take psychedelics. I had a lot of different thoughts in my head, all of them sort of connected, but in nebulous ways that I didn’t understand. It felt atavistic, ancient, something about shamans and shapeshifting. I pondered it all in my bed in the dark with my partner being patient and trying to help me arrive at some of conclusion or at least a theory.
“Maybe you’ve had sex with me before in a past life or something,” he said. “I was told I was Asian prince with a lot of concubines. Maybe you were one of them.”
“Yeah,” I said, playing my toes over the black iron designs on my bed, “That doesn’t feel right though.”
I still wasn’t sure what it was about, but it definitely felt good and interesting and important, so I was looking forward to finding out what it was all about.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 9 replies

invisible

2008-06-10T14:26:31Z

I happen to run across someone's blog who was writing about the movie Invisible Man and wondering if there is anything good you could do with being invisible. That struck me as a really cool question. Like if you didn't also have super powers of some other kind to say stop bank robbers...is there anything that you could do with being invisible that would be a good and ethical thing?

I know people who have an amazing gift of advisability in social situations, somehow they just fade into the wood work. Have you ever done that? Have you ever noticed anyone do that? how did you, or do you think they do that?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 26 replies

Lingerie

2008-06-08T00:58:18Z

I love a woman in fine lingerie, but I got to thinking...

If you were gifted sexy lingerie, would you feel like it was a "prop" you wanted to get out of and on to the "main event" asap, or is it something you would savor wearing even under your day-clothes at work? You know.. would it seem more like a dress-up trip for him, or something you'd thoroughly enjoy in OR out of the bedroom? (Not speaking of some strange guy dropping a pair of crothless panties on you, out of the blue. But, perhaps, a new boyfriend or male "pal".)

Or... Would you consider such a gift inappropriate if you were not lovers (assuming you didn't already have one to wonder "where'd THESE come from?)? Does it automatically suggest he is asking to see you in it? (grin)

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 14 replies

ManButts

2008-06-07T16:16:34Z

how do you like your manbutts? How much do you enjoy butts? like is it one of your favorite manparts?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 47 replies

Black and White

2008-06-06T02:21:57Z

Seems like a lot of white guys enjoy watching, or at least fantasizing about, their wives or gfs fucking black men.

Do white women enjoy watching or fantasizing about their husbands or bfs fucking black women?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 71 replies

tribe friends

2008-06-04T20:17:57Z

I was wondering yesterday how many of my tribe friends I've met in person. and then this morning one of them posted a blog about how many people on their friends lists they had met face to face...

So I'm wondering about you guys. How many of the people on your tribe friends list have you met in person? How many of them did you meet somewhere else(like another web site) first? how many did you know in person before tribe? and how many people on your friends list does it really really feel like you've met face to face even though you know you haven't?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 76 replies

Hi Tribe, I have missed you.

2008-06-04T18:48:33Z

I have been on the road for the last month with very little internet access and even less time. I sure have missed chatting here. I am now a traveling saleswoman. (ok farmers lock up your sons and daughters? hehehehehe) How have you all been in the last month?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 3 replies

Disliking other women

2008-06-04T18:44:34Z

Have you ever disliked another woman and not have it be rational? For example: disliking a woman because of something you may have heard about her or something she did that was not to your liking.

Have you ever acted in a way towards a woman that was not in keeping with your values?

Have you ever had to eat crow, and admit you were wrong to a woman who you demonized?

When I was at Mills there was this emphasis that us women should stand up for one another, not allow pettiness to get in the way and never to allow our feelings about a man to influence our female realtionships. A lot of us failed at it. We are humans first and foremost and flawed just like the next human.

Just pondering these things in the middle of the night and wondered what others thought.

And my answers to these:
Yes I have not liked a woman for irrational reasons. Showed more about me and my insecurites, issues and fears than it did about the other woman. In these feelings, I have done, written and acted in ways that I am ashamed of. Perhaps admitting I was wrong, apologizing and eating crow, so to speak, will not change a thing. The past cannot change, but I can try to not make the same mistakes in the future.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 14 replies

Men Who Cry

2008-06-03T22:25:58Z

http://www.toomuchsexy.org/index/weblog/comments/crying_men

what do YOU think of men who cry? men who don't cry? why?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 31 replies

Gay Marriage

2008-06-03T16:15:13Z

Ok, I'm not here to stir up any debate.
I just wanted to share a great quote I'd heard today. As I live in a purple state (they try to call us red, but that's just hooey!), I hope to be able to use it a lot.

"Saying that gay marriage will undermine "regular marriage" is like doubting the existence of your legs when you pass an amputee on the street"

I laughed so hard, I almost had to pull over.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 18 replies

One Night Stand

2008-06-03T03:55:45Z

what constitutes a one night stand in your opinion?

I was just taking a quiz on OKCupid and they ask if you have ever had a one night stand and I had no idea what to put. I have a friend that I've had for years who one night it wandered into sex territory...but is that a one night stand if you've known someone for years and stay friends afterward?

I guess what I'm asking is...what is the determining factor for a one night stand? that you only have sex with someone that one night? or that you randomly hook up with them one night and then aren't involved at all after that?

and while we are talking about them what are your feelings about one night stands? Are they appealing to you? have you had good or bad experiences with them?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 48 replies

High School Dances

2008-06-03T02:54:18Z

a friend of mine got me thinking about high school dances.

I went to nearly every high school dance (except the formals where you had to have a date) my best friend and I would go and dance the whole time together. The great thing about the late 80s was that the music was fairly undanceable...so even if you couldn't dance you looked pretty much like everyone else and it wasn't a dance in pairs kind of thing...we danced in circles of girls with the occasional boy. Except for the slow dances(picture hugging someone...and then slowing turning in circles sort of to the music) for those it was couples. The boy that I had a huge crush on for all of high school would come...but he wouldn't dance...except if I could get the DJ to play Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil then he would come and join our circle of dancing girls. I think he really liked having a group of girls that he could always go to. We weren't the cool girls...but we were the individuals and people often commented on how much fun we were having, asking us what we were on and not really believing us when we told them nothing until later when everyone knew me as really involved in all of the drug education stuff I did.

Man I really want to find that boy. He is one of the few people from school I really really want to know what happened to and know now.

So did you go to school dances? what were they like?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 38 replies

okcupid quiz

2008-06-02T22:24:00Z

I want to create one! I am thinking about what I could make one on.

So my questions for you are...

Do you have any suggestions of quizes you think I would be good at making?

If you were going to make a quiz what quiz would you create?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 21 replies

Suddenly Single

2008-06-02T06:10:55Z

Have you ever been suddenly single after a long relationship and found yourself feeling vulnerable in different ways?

One I noticed was that while I was in a monogamous marriage there were men who expressed interest in a vague way who I did not have to really respond too because I was not available and they knew that so it wasn't about if I liked them or not I simply was not available. Then when I was available I suddenly had to address the issue of being interested or not which was kind of awkward in some cases and I wasn't really emotionally in a place where things like that came easily. So suddenly I had to really be straight forward about not being interested in someone, and/or really put thought into why I wasn't interested of how I was going to express that to them and it felt really vulnerable and icky for some reason.

I kind of wished at the time that we had like an old fashioned morning period, like it used to be a year after the death of a spouse before anyone expected you to do anything relationship wise. I wouldn't want that back because it was also enforced on women that they shouldn't or couldn't be involved before then...but I'd love a nice morning for the old relationship custom in our society where for a year after a divorce no one would expect you to be ready to do anything relationship wise...if you were you'd be totally able to express that, but if not people would leave you alone. I recall being extremely pissed off recently for a gf who had people trying to set her up...like within a week of moving out or something crazy!

Has this happened to anyone else? or any other kinds of suddenly single issues you noticed or struggled with?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 25 replies

Brothers and Sisters

2008-06-01T03:34:32Z

No, it isn't a sermon. I grew up in an all boy family, two older (6 and 3 years older) and one younger (10 years younger, who i babysat a lot, which stood me in good stead when I became a father). I'm sure this has had some effect on my sexual development (in addition to an understandably complete disinterest in homosexuality). Maybe it explains why I have a sometimes annoyingly overprotective attitude toward women; it certainly explains why I enjoy their company.
What I'm asking is - what's it like to have a sister? Especially from you guys out there who did. And from the gals, what was it like to have a brother? For both, did it influence your sexuality in any way?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 18 replies

Panties for Peace. Is It Wrong?

2008-05-31T00:27:46Z

Sexist society has many superstitions related to women's sexuality and their perceived power or impurity. Is it wrong to use those beliefs against them? During interrogations of devout and sexually naive Muslims, for example, the US Army is on record in Guantanimo and Iraq as having used female interrogators and alleged menstrual blood as a psychological weapon. Is it wrong to use cultural idiocy against cultural idiots? How about the Canadian "panties for peace" campaign which asks "women to inundate the Myanmar embassy in Ottawa with panties to unsettle the military rulers?" ( http://sify.com/news/fullstory.php?id=14682421 ) How fair or just is it to use sexual superstition and sexist beliefs against those who hold and would propagate them?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 5 replies

Is nice sexy?

2008-05-30T09:33:03Z

You all know "nice" guys. They're accomodating, gentle, good listeners, kind to
other people and animals, manage to speak their minds in ways that don't denigrate
others or discount their opinions, are more willing to absorb pain than to deal it
out to others.
Are they sexy? Or does "nice"=bland, weak, uncool, vanilla, uninteresting?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 62 replies

Things that make you feel good, and then bad

2008-05-30T06:15:49Z

Then good again............

http://www.elle.com/featurefullstory/13908/walter-kirn-on-relationships-june-2008-elle.html?ybf1=1

Our FLAWS make us pretty..........

No really.......I know our flaws are our prettiest parts.............

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 13 replies

labia piercings

2008-05-28T16:50:47Z

any ladies here have their labia pierced? inner? outer? both? any advice or helpful info would be appreciated.

i'm getting pierced tomorrow if all goes well and was thinking of getting the outer labia done, but i've read they can have more problems with migrating and such than the inner.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 12 replies

What is it Women Teach Men and vice-versa?

2008-05-26T14:45:39Z

Leonard Cohen in an article entitled “He Has Tried in His Way to Be Free,” in Shambhala Sun, Novermber 2007, explains that “You learn everything from women...women are the content of men, and men are the content of women, and most people are dealing with this – whatever version of that longing there is. You know, of completion. It can be spiritual, romantic, erotic. Everybody is involved in that activity.”

What is it that women teach men and for the men/women, what do men teach women?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 29 replies

In a Relationship

2008-05-25T03:32:49Z

I can't take credit for coming up with this topic, but some of us were discussing exactly where the line is between "seeing someone" and "in a relationship". SV remarked that she's sure it's different for everyone, but it would be interesting to see what people have to say about it. What indicators do you look for in crossing that line definitionally? How does being "in a relationship" differ from "seeing someone" for you? Do you have any other terminology you prefer to use? Are there levels at all?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 32 replies

What are you not allowed to do?

2008-05-21T20:01:08Z

I realized today that I have an interior boundary that's very uncomfortable to cross; hiring contractors to redo my roof kind of freaked me out, like it was something that a single woman could not possibly do without it ending in disaster. Last month I hired some plumbers and that was hard too. Maybe it's about taking responsibility for things my dad always did, especially being in charge of fixing the house.

Have any of you run into this? Where are you not allowed to go in your life?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 32 replies

Being Secure

2008-05-19T14:49:18Z

When meeting someone for the first time, do you notice and admire their looks without thought to yourself, or do you immediately compare yourself to them? Have you done this and ever found yourself lacking? Do you always look for or are now in a relationship with someone who is on equal or greater looks level than you? Do you ever think to yourself, that person is out of my league? Do you ever think to yourself, why is that person hitting on me, don't they know that I'm out of their league? Do you ever refuse to be friends with someone because you think that if you ever hang out, that they will get all the attention? Are you ever nasty to someone because they are either smarter than you, or better looking than you, or won't give you their time/attention/sex?

I am just wondering because it has happened to me over and over, in a sort of reverse discrimination, that people compare themselves to me and find themselves lacking, or want something from me that they can't have (i.e. my time or sex), and then abuse me somehow. A few examples:

-A jealous friend turned my friends and boyfriend against me, to set herself up in my place because she felt "less than" and wanted to be the "queen bee" in MY circle of friends.
-A coworker at my old job twisted my words around as something bad, when they were perfectly neutral statements of fact, in order to pressure my boss into firing me, because she was insecure about herself and believed I could surpass her one day.
-A coworker I had just met at my new job, did not want to listen to me when I tried to change something she was doing in order to be politically correct, and tried to make me look bad to my boss when it was she who was incorrect. She has ignored me since, to the point of being rude.
-A friend was kind to me for 15 years until he realized that he was never going to sleep with me, and then verbally and emotionally abused me.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 41 replies

Do I look fat to you?

2008-05-18T18:34:40Z

I've noticed a confusing correlation between my success with women and my body size. I'm prone to vary between stocky and muscular to damn right give the fork a rest. Right now I'm closer to give the fork a rest. Strangely, I've never been more successful in meeting new women at the very moment when my body image is not so good. I've experienced this in the past as well. When I'm a little heavier, I seem to meet more women, when I'm leaner, I seem to have dry spells. You lovely ladies have any insight into this?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 12 replies

pay now or pay later??

2008-05-15T17:38:46Z

As one of my favorite sexy guys Ben Franklin used to say, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure". How would you like to help a victim of childhood sexual abuse NOT become a sex offender? How would you like to help prevent a crack baby from growing up to be a crack mom or dad?

Edgewood is closing its doors to SF County kids. These kids will be transferred to locked psychiatric units (not appropriate for emotionally traumatized kids) or foster homes (losing the counseling support so many of them need). You can help these kids - before they become the homeless guy pissing on your building or the crackhead breaking in to your car. Do you realize that high school dropouts (on average) don't move more than 3 miles away from the school they dropped out of? Do you realize that kids who grow up through foster care rarely leave the area they were raised in? Fix them while they are kids and still have a shot at a healthy life instead of paying to have them incarcerated in a decade or two. Think of it as a karma investment.

www.edgewoodcenter.org/
www.edgewood.org/believe.html

For any of you living in San Francisco PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEEE clink on the second link and do *something* to support Edgewood staying open - many of the options are non$$$ and just take a little time (like writing a letter to Mayor Newsome). A psych ward for a kid who does not have psych issues is not appropriate.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 4 replies

Would you wear one?

2008-05-15T04:44:14Z

I was reading this on the web.

http://www.suppressedhistories.net/articles/veil.html

If the US were defeated by a Muslim country, would you wear a veil or would you make the sacrifice it takes not to wear one?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 48 replies

I haven't seen that much silicone in one place....

2008-05-14T21:20:41Z

...since my 6th grade class toured the Dow Chemical plant. -- A thought that came to me on looking at the "GreatGlam.com clothing store" ads that have been popping up on Tribe for a while now. Sheesh.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 40 replies

Boys vs. Girls

2008-05-13T10:58:31Z

Browsing around something came to my mind.
I've seen Beautiful girls and average to (ahem) less than average guys.
I don't see many Beautiful guys with less than average girls.
Is it some sort of weird natural selection?

Any thoughts?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 22 replies

Jewelry

2008-05-13T06:24:05Z

Sexy women...would you want jewelry from your SO (BF, hubby, fuck buddy etc) that his ex-wife was given and wore?

Do you have jewelry that means something to you because it came from someone else you love? How do you feel about it once they are out of your lives?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 28 replies

interspecies lovin'

2008-05-12T23:40:01Z

Funny and fascinating, I don't know about you but I have seen some dogs in similar situations and i can't say i haven't had my own bit of confusion developing my sexuality as well. I do find it interesting that they would use the word 'harassment' to describe animal behavior as if they have any level of self-awareness.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7379554.stm

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 35 replies

Here's one for all the Mothers!

2008-05-12T00:30:24Z

And i don't mean the Mother, well... you know :D

Happy Ma's to all you Moms!

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 4 replies

Body Talk

2008-05-10T18:42:31Z

Which part of your body that is NOT a part of your face do you think is the most expressive and/or best expresses your personality?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 34 replies

Self-esteeming people out of my dating pool.

2008-05-09T20:00:26Z

I am realizing the better I feel about myself, the better I take care of myself, the smaller my dating pool gets. I look back at some of the guys I dated, some of the men I loved and I wouldn't go near them now . They weren't taking care of themselves physically, emotionally or mentally, why did I expect them to be able to take care of me?
Now I'm looking around and trying to access, is that a person a risk or a benefit to my self esteem? Will they take good enough care of themselves that they won't be asking me to be nursemaid and mom consistently?
It's also being busy with ME stuff. I used to have all sorts of time for dysfunctional , drama filled " relationships". Now I don't.
I can only imagine where I would be now if I had had this take on dating when I was 18. Oh well you live, you learn.

So when and how did you come to know the self-esteem/self-confidence/ or just self preservation that you could not date someone who can't take care of themselves mentally, emotionally, spiritually? Or is it something that us from dysfunctional backgrounds have to learn and everyone else knows from the get go?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 17 replies

where'd you get that sexy pic?

2008-05-08T06:48:22Z

Ha!

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 11 replies

Step Parent

2008-05-07T19:07:57Z

I know someone who is looking for a tribe to talk about step parenting issues. especially in the context or at least acceptance of a Poly family. I don't know of any but I was sure that someone in here might, or maybe it's a tribe that needs to be started? I wonder how many of you are dealing with a step parent type situation? either you are in the step parent role, or your SO(or one of your SOs) is? and does anyone know of such a tribe?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 8 replies

Just for a giggle

2008-05-07T16:55:46Z

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=sXit0FTxa1U

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 12 replies

Technical Difficulty.....

2008-05-07T06:35:48Z

Not as exciting as it sounds :)

I was trying to search through old posts here and the dang thing won't let me. Keeps tossing out a google error message that this server doesn't have permission to get a URL.
I don't really want to page back through all the old topics............
Anyone else have this problem?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 4 replies

Nature vs Creative Self-Reconstruction

2008-05-06T18:57:51Z

(This was inspired by a post in someone's blog remarking on a guy in an ilaniowear getup)
Okay, so I'm a natural kind of guy. I'm not a fanatic about it, but I'll buy natural fabric clothes rather than synthetics, and if something is labeled natural or organic in the grocery store that carries some weight in my buying decisions. I don't do tattooings or piercings because they are not part of my natural body. I don't use rogaine to combat the loss of hair that comes with old age. So that's where I'm coming from.
At the same time, I realize that a lot of folks think it's kind of fun to use their bodies as a kind of painter's canvas and develop and change their personas with all kinds of additions, and who actually use their wardrobe as a mode of expression rather than just as something to keep the weather at bay, and that's fine with me (I'm not really going to disown my gender because of the guy in the ilaniowear outfit).
Of course, I came of age in the old back-to-the-land hippie era, so I'm wondering if this is a generational thing, or a geographical thing, or what; and where do you all fit along this spectrum? And where do you like your partners (this question is open to all genders) to fit on that spectrum?

There, I got it all out with only three parenthetical comments.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 26 replies

Mothers' Day... and what about "Women's Day"?

2008-05-05T22:47:42Z

When I think of Mother's Day, I think of soooo many things mothers can be honored for, especially the sacrifices so many of them have made, in many situations before they really even knew what they were getting into. Just the first 2 years of motherhood call for incredible dedication, 24/7. A salute to all you mothers, moms and "Mommy"s out there.

This got me thinking. if we celebrated Women's Day, I mean as a society, not just an obscure day hardly anyone calendars, what would you personally be honoring or celebrating?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Women's_Day
http://www.internationalwomensday.com/
http://www.womensday.org/

I think a hit on any of the above links will be "news" to a lot of people, though I am sure it makes media news for a few seconds every year.

I once had a job working in a Legislative agency that was managed by women from the Director down to line management. I was the only male in management, though I didn't start out there. It gave me a really unique perspective of how different women are in business when they can actually carry the full responsibilties and not just be an exception, but the norm. This was also a "service" agency and not for-profit. The difference in the general office ambiance was quite obvious, to me. For me, much of the playfulness, openess and love I have had in my life is because of women. Of course, the sexiness and beauty I've savored. As a woman or a man, what would "Women's Day" mean to you, personally?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 11 replies

Favorite quizes!

2008-05-05T21:01:30Z

I am in the mood to do quizes! So I was hoping you all would tell me some of your favorites!

and when I get a chance I'll post some of my favorites.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 13 replies

QUESTION: ARE MEN AFRAID OF WOMEN WHO KNOW WHAT THEY WANT (especially in regards to sex) ?

2008-05-05T17:49:02Z

Don't get me wrong i would love nothing more than a relationship but i am not getting that so:

This doesn't just apply to booty calls either, it applies to relationships, do guys have a serious problem with women who are in touch with there sexuality and know what they want in regards to sex?

Ok the reason i ask this is:

I am 35 and seriously in my sexual prime, I have a friend she is 25 and you could say the same as me as far as her sex drive is concerned, we have spent the last few days bitching about the fact that men have become women, well at least here in OZ, we know what we want, especially when it comes to sex, and men a being a bunch of girls, they either are so scared they can't perform, or they don't shut up during the whole process shaking like a leaf, they think if we want a booty call, it means we want a relationship (Booty call is just that sex, and nothing else).

What ever happened to the male out there driven by pure lust, and just wanted sex. (because he doesn't exist here anymore)

Has womens rights gone to far and we have hurt ourselves by becoming assertive and dominant?

Ladies i need to know what you think too

X ref (AASMA)

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 20 replies

The Which Punctuation Mark Are You Test

2008-05-05T06:57:17Z

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/9611125433033087547/Which-Punctuation-Mark-Are-You

since recently we have both been talking about okcupid and also which punctuation mark we are I had to post this!

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 18 replies

I am speechless :-(

2008-05-04T18:04:52Z

Police say Austrian man raped daughter, fathered 6 children
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080428/ap_on_re_eu/austria_captive_daughter

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 24 replies

Just a few new...

2008-05-03T09:03:38Z

As per Myriads excellent suggestion I have let in just a few people today...and then soon I'll let in a few more. and hopefully that will help keep things from being all thrown off balance around here(o:

this does leave me with the issue of how to know who to let in, it will mean it could take even longer for me to get to someone on the request to join list! So I want to suggest that if you have someone you think would be great in here or someone you know who would like to join and you think they would be a good addition that you let me know.

Welcome new people!

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 12 replies

Menstrual Cups

2008-05-03T08:18:36Z

has anyone tried these??? i tried the "Instead" brand but after 2 hours it was leaking....could i have put it in wrong? if you use the cup, which one do you use? Have you tried other brands? where do you get them? I have only been able to find "instead" in the stores.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 2 replies

Poly <~~> Mono

2008-05-03T03:49:40Z

occasionally I just get curious about the make up of this tribe. Today I got wondering who all is Poly and who all is Mono and who is someplace in the middle.

and I wonder if this is who you are or something you have or are doing?

I don't think either is better or more enlightened or more ethical than the other. I find that for me I am whatever you'd call someone who can be part of a poly or mono relationship depending on the person, relationship, situation. Right now I'm happily monogamous, before this relationship I was poly and I see wonderful and difficult things about both.

so where do you fall on the mono/poly spectrum?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 84 replies

I cry like a girl

2008-05-02T19:36:36Z

..but I am one, so I guess it's ok.

I'm a bit of a crybaby, not just over things that upset me, but movies and songs and books and stuff. The big thing that hit me recently though is when me and the Master were out at Sonic and there was a pickup parked next to us and the people inside had the doors open and were feeding week-old kittens with little bottles. I just started crying. I have an unnatural love of cats (I really ..-really- love them) and before I moved here to Oklahoma we usually had some kittens around, so it's been weird just having mostly and full grown cats here. But I saw the kitten's tiny faces and just started crying (and laughing a bit at how silly I felt).

So I guess my question is, is there anything that makes you cry that seems weird to you or anyone else? I'm not talking about real-life sad things like a death of a family member or something terrible on the news, but maybe an every day event or a comedy or something.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 39 replies

Hero

2008-05-02T16:57:26Z

The thought occurred to me this morning...what makes someone a Hero in my eyes?

So I am asking you guys. What do you think makes someone a Hero?

what do you think makes someone a good person?

what is the difference or line between just being a good person and being a Hero?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 5 replies

$ex $ervice Worker$ - male vs fem

2008-05-02T07:19:19Z

Why would you say that the sex service industries are dominated by women providing the services rather than a balance with straight men providing services for women too? I am not talking about prostitution/"escorts", but the whole range from cyber-sex (straight) to the quasi-spiritual/goddess sexul-healing, tantric workshops, etc. In a cyber-sex or prostitution situation guys seem to be much more into a control trip. But in the fields of sexual "therapies", like sexual healing services, tantric workshops, etc, surely a woman can benefit just as much as a man and these are services worth paying for if they are effective, no? Yet, I never see advertising or even hear testimonies of women seeking Dr Love services. Even in a community like Maui's, where these services provided by fems are very well-known, I've never even heard of a male paid for providing the same services ( let alone advertise), other than perhaps escorts that may include sex. On the other end of the spectrum, male cyber-sex "models" are pretty much exclusively gay. Women do enjoy male eye-candy as much as men enjoy looking at gorgeous ladies, no? Okay, there is the limited capacity of a man to display his raw sex potential as a perpetual raging hardon vs. a woman who can just lay there and look totally "on", but I don't think that's an explanation. Nor do I think women feel like, "Hey, I brought the pussy so I made my contribution". Do women have a problem with paying for sexual services? Is there nothing worth a buck, when it comes to straight women as the consumer? This has been a nagging question for a long time? I remember the year "Playgirl" hit the stands. Maybe I'm just unaware of a huge industry, but is there much of an in-person sex industry targeted at straight women as a market... besides male strippers and "escorts"? Television ads may use a sexy male sometimes, but sex toys/aids and books seem to be the strongest marketing towards women.

The question: Why do you think marketing in-person $ex $ervice$ is almost exclusively women presented as sex workers serving men and not more a balance with straight men offering services to women as well?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 16 replies

Above the shoulders....

2008-05-02T00:28:04Z

Let's say you have a woman with stunning tits, ass, legs and a gorgeous face. How much do you think the average 21st-century man cares about her intelligence. I've met more than a few gorgeous ladies that had the most horrid grammar and vocabulary.

"Dudn't matter. Your not intrested in brains anyway. Shouldn't have tooken her for an Eyenstine" ??

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 57 replies

Set Up

2008-05-01T15:58:16Z

Do you, or have you ever set up people you know? How did it work out?

Has anyone ever set you up? How did it go?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 20 replies

Speaking Up for Once

2008-04-29T05:13:20Z

I have found myself avoiding the recent trend in threads in this tribe and in AASMA. I don’t know when respect for others and their beliefs and their right to have a differing opinion became an option in this forum, but I do not like it. If I wanted to hear religion bashing, I would go to a tribe specifically designed for that. If I wanted to hear George Bush or Hilary Clinton slammed, I would visit a politics tribe. If I wanted to view ass-to-mouth bukkake porn, I would search it out myself, not look for a link here.

This is where I come for intelligent conversation, not ridicule. I expect to be allowed to express an opinion that differs from others here and feel safe. Hell, I expect to have my screen name respected and the assumption made that perhaps my reason for choosing it has sacred meaning to me. I expect to come in here and ask and answer questions of genuine concern with a slant towards gender issues, or the differing way in which men and women react, and sort out which reactions are gender-based and which are simply human-based. I don’t mind things getting silly and fun, that’s wonderful. But when personal attacks are made on members of this tribe, that’s when I bow out. Clearly some contributors here are not about to change their crass and disrespectful treatment of others; I can only assume this extends into their personal lives as well. But it bothers me to spend time with people who do not allow me the right to be pagan christian, or monogamous, or a parent, or private about my sex life or my political leanings, with the assumption that I have made those choices after much soul searching as to what is right for me.

So here’s my question. Have you personally ever felt belittled here? Have you ever felt your opinion to be discounted because your belief system happens to be in the minority? Have you ever considered blasting someone for their blatant insensitivity and then resisted it as not worth the effort, knowing it would only inflame things more?

I have. And I’d really like to know if the quiet ones here have ever felt as I do.

And for the rest of you? Feel free to take potshots at me. I can take it. We can make this the bash Melissa thread if you like. Won’t hurt me one bit to hear an opinion that counters my view of myself. I just needed to get my observations off my chest for once. Thanks.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 81 replies

8 First Date Tips for Women

2008-04-28T18:05:32Z

Just curious about what you think of these. For me some were effective and useful. At least they affirm that I was doing some things right.
*****************

As a love coach, I've heard the following question more times than I can remember: "What happened? I'm so confused. At first, he seemed to really like me. He made reservations, picked me up, and took me to a fabulous restaurant. But for some reason, over the course of dinner, he became a little cold and distant. By the time he dropped me off, he seemed withdrawn and just sped off into the night. I haven't heard from him since! And I really liked him. I'm so bummed! What do you think happened?"

Does this sound familiar to you? If so, you may have broken some cardinal first-date rules without knowing it. Here are eight tips to ensure that a first date will turn into a second if you'd really like it to:

#1: Don't be negative about dating. Why should a man pursue someone who isn't happy? It's ineffective manhandling to dump your dating disappointments on bachelor No. 3. Talking to a man about how awful dating is just begs the question, "Are you in therapy?"

Romance Rule: Be a romantic challenge, not a mental health challenge.

#2: Don't get tipsy. Always maintain enough sobriety to assess your date's character. Practice restraint, and don't have more than a drink or two when you're out on a first date. Otherwise, how in the world can you possibly observe him and decide if he's remotely right for you?

Romantic Rule: Always stay sober enough to remember how naughty you were the night before!

#3: Don't talk badly about your exes. I don't care if he cheated on you with your sister, don't recite a laundry list of grievances about your exes. This will only make you sound unavailable at best, or worse, wounded. Reveal your secrets when you're both on a beach in Hawaii or, better yet, engaged!

Romantic Rule: We all have baggage. Keep it in the closet on first dates.

#4: Don't spook your suitor. Now is not the time to point out your physical flaws. Only bring these complaints to people who can actually do something about them, and not to men who will now be forced to lie to you if they possess good manners.

Romantic Rule: Confidence is sexy! Sometimes, thoughts are for the inside.

#5: Don't talk about your personal pet peeves. Although your therapist might get butterflies inside when you talk about how traumatized you are by the staggering number of germs that thrive in public restrooms, the typical male will be horrified. You'll have violated the sacred air space of "romantic quality time" and these little monologues of strange pain will be as off-putting as if you started sorting unwashed laundry in a restaurant.

Romantic Rule: You already know all about you. Keep your problems to yourself and get to know him.

#6: Don't chase your date. Never deprive a man of the thrill of the chase. Besides, it's so much fun being caught! A woman can always initiate a first tea date, but after that, it's up to a man to decide whether he wants to pursue you. Entice men, play with them, and then release them! Allow men to initiate and take the lead in moving your relationship forward.

Romantic Rule: When men chase you, they're much less likely to fly away.

#7: Don't keep squawking.Don't feel pressured to try to fill up every second with meaningless chatter. If the conversation falls silent for a moment, don't panic, just let it happen. Natural pauses are sexy, and body language can be so much more powerful than words. Slowly smile at him and breathe. You may be surprised when he blurts out in the middle of a deliciously pregnant pause, "Come here and kiss me!"

Romantic Rule: Remember, sometimes less conversation really is more.

#8: Learn how to leave. Anyone can be pleasant when they're enjoying themselves, but the true test of character is how one behaves when terribly bored, or worse, treated shabbily. There's nothing to be gained by suffering through a terrible date, so if you're having an awful time, depart quickly and gracefully, without being rude. When you're itching to leave, say: "Thank you so much for meeting me. I think it's time for me to go on home, Jerome. (Smile) Take care." Extend your hand for a quick shake, swiftly turn on your heel and depart.

Romantic Rule: If you're on date number one and aren't having fun, release your date back into the wild immediately.

Lauren Frances, author of "Dating, Mating and Manhandling: The Ornithological Guide to Men," is the founder of the Institute for Romantic Research and a love coach to countless women and men around the globe, including Hollywood celebs like Kate Walsh and Amy Brenneman. Lauren has been featured on Bravo's The Real Housewives of Orange County and Dr. Phil's Decision. She's on the Web at laurenfrancesphdd.com Tune in Fridays at noon (Pacific time zone) when Lauren hosts "Man Magnet Radio" on Karma Air.
http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/73059/8-first-date-tips-for-women

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 17 replies

Are we that different

2008-04-27T07:06:55Z

T-shirt - "I learned how to eat pussy from lesbians"

One would think that if they had a pussy of their own they would know secrets to making one really purr. But people differ in what turns them on, and I suspect there are some really poor givers out there just as there are men who are especially bad at it.

(From experience) do you think, in general, women give better head to women than men do?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 15 replies

How do you feel about going Dutch on a date?

2008-04-27T03:16:13Z

Does it matter who makes more money? Or if it's early in a relationship or later?
Since their seems to be no rules anymore for dating, i'm curious how other women deal with the who pays for dinner question?

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 28 replies

Now I am having FUN!

2008-04-25T15:26:07Z

At the advice of a lover on the west coast I joined OKcupid to try to find playmates on the east coast and wow!
So much better than match, eharmony , or any other I have checked out...they have categories for straight or LBGT and the tests and questions span the spectrum of possible relationship definitions including poly...and it is FREE!
Spring is here and I am wooing, emailing, talking to and meeting new people, yippee...now if only one of them would come out here for some sex I would be set for a few more days, LOL!
Here is to openess, new experiences and breaking down the boxes of relationship definitions...
Happy Spring everyone,
shekinah

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 25 replies

Porn

2008-04-24T22:09:36Z

I was talking to my sweetie the other night and he mentioned how it had occurred to him that he didn't watch porn anymore since we got together. So we decided to watch some together...and while I did find some of it arousing I found myself disappointed in it. This has happened to me a few times. I haven't seen any for a long time and when I do I am like...is this it? Isn't there anything really interesting? and then I don't watch for a long time...and around we go.

So I wondered.

How do you feel about porn?

if you like it do you watch it pretty regularly? I'm just curious I know we have a ton of sex positive people in here and I wondered how much a part of their regular sexual routine porn was.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 53 replies

Safer sex risks

2008-04-24T21:43:02Z

The blow job thread got me thinking about what is acceptable in "safer sex." Some consider a blow-job risk free, others a hand-job. I have a young male friend that just came down with an STD from a "drunken one night stand" where he used VERY poor judgement. I hear about some people bare-backing anal sex and having the attitude "I gotta die from something." Obviously, they have not watched a loved one suffer from AIDS like I have.

So what risks are you willing to take sexually? Does alcohol or drugs change your attitudes when it comes to safer sex? What happens when you find out you have been lied to about something of a sexual nature? Is there a sexual behaviour that a potential partner engages in that totally makes it so you won't sleep with them, no matter how much latex is between the two of you?

As I get older, I am willing to take less and less risk. Perhaps it is because there are other things more important than getting my rocks off. I think having my best friend die of AIDS did something to me as did knowing my ex's aunt died along with her husband because he could not be honest about his bi-sexuality.

I think this is one of the things that scare me a lot: people are not honest about their sexuality. The shame and privacy with which a lot of people regard sex is damaging. I have known many men who say one thing then do another thing. I have an ex-friend who is female that NEVER told sex partners she had HPV and herpes. I had no respect for her about this. I made it a point not to sleep with the same people she did.

I also get tested for everything at least once a year and often after a new sex partner even though I do practice safer sex. I always ask those I sleep with if they have been tested. I just never know if I should trust them. I guess this explains why I have people who want to fuck me, but I find "BOB" much less anxiety provoking.

posted in Ask a Sexy Woman Anything - 5 replies

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